I hate birthdays and Christmas for the same reason. I feel the need to set my resolutions for the following year. Yeah, I know, it's mainly a New Year's thing but I do seem to feel the same stress on my birthday.

There is something wrong with my laptop's speakers -there's this annoying static sound- so I can't watch any of the series I wanted to watch during the holidays.
I also haven't still made the brookies I bought all the ingredients for. It's a combination of brownies and cookies. I'm sure it sounded more appealing when I first read it.

So, basically there's nothing wrong with Christmas. If you are a housewife and/or have a child and your house smells like freshly baked cookies or brookies or whatever.
So. I first need to have a child and then bake the cookies.
Inescapable. That's what resolutions are.

I'm one of you now.
I lie and cheat and hide.
I'm visibly invisible.
Subscriber to the sect.

I keep them in boxes, medium-sized, like shoes boxes. Each one is carefully decorated with some kind of colourful wallpaper. The ones at eye level are white with green polka dots. The containers of each box go under careful scrutiny to ascertain they are categorised appropriately. And then carefully placed in the custom-made box-case. Each box is full. No space left. But every now and then something new comes around and makes me go insane for there is no empty box and no available place in my box-case. So I tie myself up let it all out. 

I catch myself observing young couples with children and wondering: Do they seem happy? Do they seem like they’re having sex? Obviously, they’ve had some in order to have children. I look at their posture, trying to figure out their body language, how they look at each other. That’s it? Have they fulfilled their lives now? Do they exchange loving looks? Or just bored ones. Have the women become fat and ugly? And what about the men; do they stare at me? Do they give me weird looks? For reasons I haven’t yet realised it seems that I attract married men. I suppose they don’t get laid enough. Or they’ve become bored of their wives or fed up with their family life. And what about the other ones. People I didn’t know had kids and suddenly I see them walking along holding hands with their little creatures. They’re parents? Wow. I didn’t see that coming. Now they’re just, well, ordinary people who wanted to have a family. It is utterly strange how creatures created out of sex and passion can actually destroy these. I must have read this somewhere.